Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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