Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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