My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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