but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
