if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
