it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
