Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
