I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's never too late to be topless.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
