and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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