6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
