That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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