Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
