who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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