Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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