ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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