i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
They left me at home... I'm a liability
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
