her vagine was all disorganized.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it's like iHOP with fire
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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