Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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