she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
