Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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