I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
