I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
