"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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