So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i now understand why vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize