I accidentally had phone sex last night
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize