yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
