Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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