Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
