i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize