He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
