spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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