What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
