She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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