Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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