I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
