I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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