Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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