you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
