We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's never too late to be topless.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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