she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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