Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
