I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
