How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
