Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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