i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
