What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
