I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
