My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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