just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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