The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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