I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
