Porn is love you can see.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i now understand why vodka
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
