Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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