FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
how drunk are you?
Several
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
