he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
