Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
