Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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