I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
