Who wears a wallet chain?!
she told me i tasted like america
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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