it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
