I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
