So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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