pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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