New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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